Losing It: My Secret Bald Spot and Alopecia Journey

Sometime last fall, I started losing hair from a silver-dollar size patch on the back of my head. At the time, I didn’t realize it was happening. My hairdresser was the one who noticed it. At first, I sort of shrugged it off. She said she’d seen it before in other clients, it was probably stress-related and to have my doctor check it out. Naturally, I googled it (don’t google it).

The technical name for this type of hair loss is alopecia areata. It usually starts with a bald patch on the back of your head. From there, the whole thing gets sort of vague. It MIGHT be stress related. It could have something to do with allergies. It MIGHT improve on its own or the bald patch may grow or pop up in other spots. In rare cases, you could end up losing all of your hair. Everywhere. Steroid shots might help. Or not. Who knows. Just try not to freak out about it because that might make it worse. Yeah, right. The more I read the more freaked out I got. And the more self-conscious I felt.

I can’t pinpoint exactly when the hair loss started but I suspect it was shortly after a tree fell on our house and Lillian broke her wrist in the same week. Its no secret that I struggle with depression and anxiety. I’m pretty sure I suffered post-pardem depression for a solid 4 years following the kids’ arrivals. It turns out that babies aren’t really my “thing.” But with the newborn and toddler years behind us, I’d finally been feeling like decent mother, wife and human being on a fairly consistent basis. Then I watched a tree fall on the roof with my kids underneath and the anxiety in the aftermath was almost crushing. Apparently, it took a toll on my hair.

Steroid injections seem to be helping, so I’m hopeful that things are headed in a positive direction for now. As frustrating as this experience has been, its also provided new motivation to practice self-care. Yoga makes me a better, more easeful person but I’m terrible about making the time for it.  Now I’m more motivated to keep a regular practice, which in turn makes me a better mom, wife, friend, person.

For now, I’m doing my best to focus on the present, take care of myself and my family and keep some perspective As vulnerable as I feel sharing my story, I hope it might help others struggling with alopecia, anxiety or self-image issues. At the end of the day, we’re all human, none of us is perfect.

As I’m putting more time and energy into building Homemaker’s Habitat, I want it to be an accurate reflection of real life, which isn’t all cupcakes and campsites. Thanks for being here with me. I hope you’ll stick around for the journey.

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