The years are short but the days can definitely feel long. These are my top Sanity Saving Tips for Part-Time Work from Home Parents (from someone who nearly lost her mind and learned a few things in the process).
Its no coincidence that I enrolled myself in weekly therapy last September. Spending all of last summer home with the kids, while also trying to simultaneously balance a career with little to no childcare, nearly broke me. This year I was absolutely determined to do better. And I did!
My kids and I made some of our absolute best memories over the past three months. We laughed more, yelled less and enjoyed a truly epic summer. Amazingly, it was also one of the most successful and productive summers of my career. It took some serious advance planning and patience but it was worth it. I started this journey over summer break but these tips continue to serve me year-round. And they can serve you too. Here’s how:
My Sanity Saving Tips for Part-Time Work from Home Parents
1. Arrange Ongoing Childcare. In advance.
Repeat After Me: Primary Caregiver does not mean sole caregiver. If you’re like me and your work is done at home and on your own schedule it can be so easy to tell yourself you’ll get things done at night or during nap time. Guess what? You can’t. You’re robbing yourself of the time needed to pursue your goals AND your ability to be present with your family. Don’t fall into that trap. You need structured work hours. Year round.
Whether you need an hour to answer emails and pay your utility bills or several mornings a week to pursue a side-hustle, its important to find caregivers and activities that will keep the kids engaged while you get that time. Whether its a trusted sitter for the baby, summer camp, daycare, your gym, or a local community center with a drop-in program, find a program that works for you and stick to it.
Over the years we’ve used a variety of sitters and programs but in summer I always tend to let things slide and try to do more with less. No more. This year, I started searching for (and saving for) summer camp options in January! Even though it was hard to justify the time and the up-front costs months in advance, I knew I would need dedicated time for work throughout the summer.
In hindsight, I’m so glad that I did. If we hadn’t made camp arrangements months earlier there is no way I would have been able to undertake some of the bigger projects I completed this summer. And I would have been kicking myself. The kids ended up totally loving their camp programs (Max mastered swimming with daily Summer Camp Swim lessons and Lilly went to Circus Camp!) and benefited from having a little bit of structure in their lives. And they came back home to a Mom who was fully present with them during our hours together.
Things worked so well over the summer that I’ve carried that mindset right into the school year. Even though both kids are enrolled in school five days a week this year, I’ve added in sitter swap with one of Max’s preschool friends, a swimming class for him that allows me time to swim laps in the lane next to him and other opportunities to get things done.
2. Take time for yourself. Every Day.
For years I was an absolute disaster when it came to self-care. I was always last on the list of priorities. Feeling drained left me resentful and my family suffered as a result. Lucky for me, one of my good friends is the co-author and founder of Peaceful Mamas, a book and group dedicated to helping moms find peace throughout their day.
The book helped me to better understand that as primary caregiver, my wellbeing greatly affects the health and wellbeing of my family and self-care needs to be a daily priority. Whether its an early morning jog, sunrise (or sunset yoga) or a post-bedtime Netflix binge, make sure you’re taking time for yourself. This is not more time to work. This is not time to fold laundry or empty the dishwasher. This is something for you.
In my world that means time spent on my yoga mat. After several years of trying (and failing) to get to scheduled classes, I gave up and purchased a subscription to an online yoga app called YogaGlo. For a small monthly fee I have access to thousands of classes, some as short as 5 minutes or as long as 90. After a hectic day, I can’t wait to tuck the kids into bed and take my yoga mat and iPad to the backyard for 20 or 30 minutes of “me” time. Find the thing that fills you up and make it a priority.
3. Get out of the house.
I am probably one of the biggest homebodies you’ll ever meet but when it comes to both working from home AND being a stay at home parent, one of the worst things you can do is to actually stay at home.
Trying to work from home means being constantly surrounded by distractions like dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes. Every where you look their is something that can pull you away from the task at hand. Get out of there! Go to a coffee shop or the library. My favorite place to work in the winter is our local conservatory…I sit with my laptop, surrounded by tropical plants and love life.
And hanging at home with the kids all day? That’s just a recipe for a messy house and bickering children. As often as possible we head to the park, a museum, the pool, the library. ANYWHERE that can provide exercise, stimulation and a distraction from the arguing. Even better, pack a picnic and make a day of it.
4. Lean on your Tribe
Find a group of people in your community that you can count on in a pinch. Maybe its your neighbors or a couple of moms from your child’s preschool or your church. People who are nearby and in the same season of life…people that you can trade kindnesses with on a regular basis.
In our lives its our neighbors. I’m on a text string with 5 of the coolest, strongest, smartest, kindest mommas. They all live on my block, just steps away. They are who I reach out to if I’m stuck on a conference call when school is about to get out or because I’m locked out of my house or my kids are bored and looking for playmates. They know they can count on me to pick up their child if they’re running late or join them for a glass of wine on the porch after a tough day. They are literally the grease that keeps our wheels turning and I don’t know what I’d do without them.
It can be hard to make friends as an adult…it can be hard to reach out to someone new and ask for acceptance, but if you’re among other parents doing through the same stuff you are, chances are they’ll welcome your friendship. Welcome your offer to help with school pickups and coffee runs. And you’ll all be better for it.
