Having fun at dance class…imagine that
Every week it’s the same struggle:
I say: “It’s time for dance class!”
She whines: “I don’t wanna go!”
It wasn’t always like this. At first it was all very exciting. The tutus and new friends and the fancy studio. But after a few weeks, the newness wore off. And now we argue. I beg. I bribe. I give in. She stays home. I get annoyed.
And it’s not just ballet. It’s everything. Not every week but pretty regularly we end up arguing about or skipping an activity. And we don’t do that many activities (dance, swimming and school). I’m tired of it.
She’s only four and I’m no Tiger Mom but it’s frustrating to watch her enthusiasm (and my hard earned money) drain away two weeks into an activity or class. Even more perplexing — when she actually goes to class, she has a great time! She walks out smiling, excited, proud to show off what she’s learned. It’s not the class that she’s dreading, its just the going to class part. And I am stumped.
So I turn to you, friends. Help me. Tell me your strategies. Give me your parenting pointers.
How do you guide your child when choosing activities to join (I’ve been letting Lilly take the lead, though I feel pretty strongly about swimming as a life skill)?
How many activities is “too many” (besides preschool, we’re doing ballet and swimming)?
What do you do when your kids want to skip a class? What if they want to quit altogether?
Hollie says
Do preschoolers have social anxiety? Because Lilly sounds like me in these situations! Maybe a role play or a sort of script the day before and then the morning of- "Tomorrow is dancing class! When we wake up, we’ll have breakfast and play, then put on our dance clothes and go to the studio. Sometimes we have to rush across the parking lot! Then we put on ballet shoes while we wait for Miss Ashley to call our class. You will see Sophia and Brett in class. Do you think you will practice twirls? After class we will stop at Costco and get a smoothie." If she has a specific anxiety she can name, talk about it or give an open ended prompt. I’ve asked Charlotte to work on learning her classmates names, so she feels like the other girls are her friends.
Rebecca Andexler says
Hollie, as always, your ideas are brilliant and perfect! I love the idea of role playing/scripting things out beforehand and discussing/reminding her to get her classmate’s names. Also, I love your description of the twirls!! Can you come be my mom? You’re always so good at this stuff. Thank you! P.S. Sorry its taken me forever to reply to your comment. My comment moderation was all wonky and I wasn’t getting notifications. xoxo
Hollie says
Do preschoolers have social anxiety? Because Lilly sounds like me in these situations! Maybe a role play or a sort of script the day before and then the morning of- "Tomorrow is dancing class! When we wake up, we’ll have breakfast and play, then put on our dance clothes and go to the studio. Sometimes we have to rush across the parking lot! Then we put on ballet shoes while we wait for Miss Ashley to call our class. You will see Sophia and Brett in class. Do you think you will practice twirls? After class we will stop at Costco and get a smoothie." If she has a specific anxiety she can name, talk about it or give an open ended prompt. I’ve asked Charlotte to work on learning her classmates names, so she feels like the other girls are her friends.
Rebecca Andexler says
Hollie, as always, your ideas are brilliant and perfect! I love the idea of role playing/scripting things out beforehand and discussing/reminding her to get her classmate’s names. Also, I love your description of the twirls!! Can you come be my mom? You’re always so good at this stuff. Thank you! P.S. Sorry its taken me forever to reply to your comment. My comment moderation was all wonky and I wasn’t getting notifications. xoxo